We Should Hang Out Sometime?

So Damsels, it's been a while since I canned the other half of our species, so when I received this line the other day by a male interest of mine it got me thinking once again of the intricacies of the utter confliction of subtexts and mixed messages that is, the male mind.

Social media has come a long way, and so too its purposes. This male in question and I have been talking - if you can call it that -quite frequently on Facebook, since, out of the blue, he PM'd me saying "Hey". I actually cringe at it now, but when I opened that message up I did become incessantly giddy. I played my music full-blast and danced around my room at the mere knowledge that this guy has willingly, and quite knowingly, gone out of his way to message me. So anyways, after your basic blah blah blahs "What do you do with yourself these days?" blah blah blahs he messaged me this single line;

We should hang out sometime? 

To which I reacted in the same manner as when he first instigated contact with me. But then, being female, I started to question his intentions. I started to analyze every meaning, I tried to find subtext in his words. Then, I began to worry. Does "We should hang out sometime?" imply a blow-off? is it just a nice way to end the conversation without him feeling guilty? Is it his way of saying that "it's been nice talking to you but I'm not quite feeling it so I'll tell you what you want to hear - albeit, very vaguely - and leave it at that." or is "hangout" just another word for "booty call"?

See, to me "we should hang out sometime" is very gray. And personally, I do not like the use of sometime in it. It implys 'one day' and that 'one day' can be never. It's not set in stone. It's something I expect to hear from a sixteen year old after hooking up at an underage disco. So any guy whose so gray in his intentions is bound to be gray in his character. Not what you want when looking for a soul mate. Us women like things to happen now, especially if its with a boy she likes. But after further investigation, I found that this is a common line that our mere males like to utter whilst in the dating dance. Generally, it is used in order to risk the embarrassment of rejection.

Cosmopolitan Magazine in their 45 Guy Phrases Translated!  translates it literally as meaning " I'm afraid you'll say no if I ask you out". Match.com actually takes it further by saying that "We should hang out sometime" literally translates to “I don’t want to flat-out ask you on a date and risk rejection, so first I’m going to gauge your interest.”

It is almost, if you can imagine, a guy approaching you with a white flag saying "I come in peace" but yet, it doesn't take away the certain discomfort which comes with a guy waving a flag around your face.

Needless to say, I replied to this offer of a 'hangout' with an affirmative "Yes, that would be good!" and went back to my life thinking not much of it afterwards. Then, Damsels, I received a text exactly two days later asking how my weekend was and if I'll be free to "hangout" (cringe) that coming week. I mulled it over and thought, heck! why not. (he is pretty cute after all) We decided to arrange this hangout for Wednesday in two days time. Wednesday came, and I thought all hope was lost when i didn't hear from him but then alas my phone buzzed with his name on the screen. This hangout was still on. So after what i felt was a lifetime of going through options of dress I got myself tizzed up and ready.

The hangout was surprisingly enjoyable. No freaky stuff happened. Movie. Laughs. Chemistry. But it has been five days Damsels with no word from Mr. Hangout. I have to say I am quite deflated. Which makes me ponder, once again, the mechanics of men and the real meaning/intention behind the 'hangout'. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, and looking back the red flags were blatantly clear and flying high. For one, my naivety led me to believe this 'hangout' was another word for 'date'. I was mistaken. He ushered me into his room for "dvds" and although he didn't push it too much, I didn't give him the one thing that I believe he was expecting. And so, I'm only taking a wild stab in the proverbial dark here, but I believe his and my idea of the meaning of the word 'hangout' were completely different. I might be wrong. He may have not enjoyed himself as much as I did, and if that's the case then I applaud him for his "I am SO interested in you" performance. But, never mind. One lesson I learnt from this, and this goes for you too Damsels, that a real man, if he's relationship material and is also looking for a relationship, will ask you out. He will not masquerade this 'asking out' behind the cloak of the 'hangout'. Cos this just shows he lacks confidence in himself. And us Damsels need a strong, independent and confident man. Hang out is not a go out. And no go out is not good enough.