Road Mapping is an essential component in any journey. In order to get
from A to B you need a decent plan highlighting the best routes to take, rest
stops or fuel stations along the way, and any places of interest which could be
of value to you. I was rummaging around my family garage the other day when I
found a crate of books. Amongst them, one cover caught my eye; it was David
Campbell's 'If You Don't Know Where You're Going, You'll Probably End Up
Somewhere Else'. It is a little primer of a book outlining the importance
that goal-planning has in the building of a happy and successful life. Its
message is clear and simple; If you haven't got a plan - or a map - of where
you are going, then chances are, you won't end up where you want to be. I am a
firm believer in goal-setting and planning. I am an OCD planner, I own a
journal - no, two journals - and every morning before I begin my day I
write a plan on what i want to achieve; Be that writing an article
before 7pm, going to the gym, or picking up dog food from the local pet store.
Then, I go through each task, meticulously ticking each one off as I complete
them. It sounds OTT but it helps me to arrange my thoughts and to make the most
of each day, because before you know it, today turns into tomorrow - and
tomorrow turns into "Ohh I can just put that off until Friday.." and
so on and so on. I was at my dear friend Laura's house the other day, and
we were sitting at her kitchen table talking about our lives and stressing
about where we'll end up. "I don't know who I am, where I'm going, or what
I want to be anymore." said Laura, helplessly tapping away at her laptop
attempting to submit an assignment by the deadline of 5 o'clock. It was
4:35. "I don't even know why I chose this degree, I don't even like it!"
Laura is a prime example of a last-minute planner. Give her a map and she'd eye
it with half-interest and then push it aside saying "I hate maps.
They're SO boring". The thing is with maps though is that
without them, we'd be lost. It was quite the coincidence
then when I picked up an O! Magazine sitting in a haphazard pile
of paper atop one of the kitchen seats. One of the feature
articles touched on the subject of mapping your
life journey. More specifically, what happens when you've mapped your
journey and finally venture out only to end up hitting a road bump or
accidentally taking a wrong turn or - as this article stated - hit a rumble
strip. There are many of time where I have set out on a road trip and been
blindsided by a crossroad. i.e., a road would be closed and I'd have to make
alternate arrangements, or the fuel stations only petrol pump was out of order,
or my tire got a puncture etc. And even though I planned every little
detail of my road map before leaving, something can - and usually does - pop up
and forces me have to draw up a whole new map. But, the funny thing is in
most cases the moments that didn’t work out - where I've incidentally hit
a 'rumble strip' - served the most important part of the
trip. See, rumble strips serve a purpose; they warn you to slow down, take
caution, and get back on track. We can use this analogy of the rumble strip in
real life, too. When Laura brought up how, when she first applied for
university, she thought her specific course would be enjoyable only to find out
now that she actually despises it. This is a form of rumble strip, and its
serving her a purpose even if she can't see it through the pile of
homework in front of her. It's telling her 'Hey, this isn't the best option for
you. But that's ok! Let’s look at your other options!' Same thing applies to
every area of your life, be it personal, professional or otherwise. If your
current road map has led you to dead-end town then it’s time to stop, put your
car in reverse, and try a different road.
Pump the brakes. If you're overcome with feelings of dissatisfaction in your current journey then there’s no point wasting precious fuel by continuing on in the bumper to bumper of a busy congested highway you always seem to take day-in and day-out. Martha Beck in her article 'Off The Beating Path' in the February 2013 issue of O! Magazine suggests that in any circumstance or part of a rumble strip you've found yourself upon, the first thing to do is to stop. Drop all your fears, worries, should-of's, could-of's etc. and focus on the now. Stop, and surrender. This is your first step in remapping your journey.
Do a U-Turn. At first realization that you've reached a point of destination where you otherwise don't want to be, then reverse out of that dead-end street, off the rumble strip, and backtrack. Martha says that in order to do this, we must take note of all the problems we're encountering and list them in order of which one is causing us the most pain or dissatisfaction. In Laura's case, it was her degree. Laura threw her mind in reverse by making an inventory of all the reasons why she didn't like what she was studying and all the reasons why - in her mind - she should keep at it. After analyzing her list we found that the root cause of the problem was not the degree itself, but Laura's inability to manage her time. Aha! Try putting your mind in reverse and list every resistance to whatever you’re facing on one page, and on the opposite page write a list of every feasible way you can overcome this or correct each problem.
Take the next exit. As soon as
you have assessed your current life situation and have found that you were on
the wrong route, it's time to head in a new direction. Laura saw that her
inability to manage her time efficiently was making her dislike what she was
studying, and so she forced herself to correct this situation. First, by
listing all the possible ways she can better compartmentalize her life. I gave
her one of my journals (I always carry a spare in my bag!) and helped her
manage her life into bite-sized pieces. After this, Laura was able to see that
by stopping and switching paths or perspectives, she was able to move forward
on a smooth and even track. Let me give you a personal example; when my
relationship with Nutjob broke down, instead of self-sabotaging myself with
"why me, what is wrong with me, what did I do" I forced myself
to sit down and take note of all the positives of the situation. It was hard at
first, I think my first dot-point was tear-stained, however eventually I had
FIVE pages worth of all the positives I gained from the situation. By making
yourself alter your beliefs and change your negative thoughts into positive
ones, you are on the first track towards a different - and more enjoyable -
road. You are training your mind into thinking of adversities as possibilities.
You are en route to a much happier - and better - destination.
Bon Voyage!
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