Let me tell you one thing about confidence. Growing up, I never had it. I was tall and awkward, painfully shy, and a little bit of a nerd. I got teased a lot. I didn't have many friends because I was too scared to talk to people. I couldn't even look my teachers in the eye at school. I dreaded having to buy something from the school kiosk. I spent every P.E lesson hiding out in the toilets or at the sick-bay. And I can't begin to tell you the amount of times I faked 'being sick' as to get out of situations that would be out of my comfort zone. Then, one day my year 7 principle offered me some words of advice. "Confidence is like exercise. The more you practice at it, the more you train, the more you will get better at it and eventually it will become second nature to you." From that point on, I began treating my loss of self-confidence the way one does to treat puppy fat; I exercised and trained hard until I became strong at it. Think of your brain as a muscle. The more you feed it with positive thoughts and affirmations the more confident you will become. "Confidence is like a muscle," explains Michelle Landy, the author of The Confidence Workout. "We need to use it to keep us strong." And just like you would in preparing for a marathon, you have to begin by starting small and building up.
Every marathon or slug-sesh at the gym is started off with a warm-up first. Warm-ups help us to prepare our minds and equips our body for the work-out ahead. It is during your warm-up where you decide what you want to achieve or get out from your work out. So in the case of warming-up your self-confidence, it is essential you begin by 'stretching' through committing to do small challenges everyday. Be it smiling at every person you walk past on the way to work, or complimenting a stranger on their shoes. Confidence begins as a result of small, manageable actions. "The key to building real confidence is to always keep stretching your comfort zone" explains Jordan Bates, author of website Refine The Mind. By stretching our comfort zones little by little, we are essentially conditioning our bodies to be able to handle bigger challenges or resistances. Start this warm-up today by writing on a list five things that you love about yourself. That may be your ability to use humor in awkward situations, or your mad pottery skills, or your ability to parallel park. Anything that makes you feel good about yourself - hobby or quirk - write it down.
This practice helps us to recognize our positive attributes and the things that makes us feel great. It trains our mind to focus on and look for the good in us therefore limiting self-doubt. Now look through your list. Doesn't that person sound incredibly awesome? Who wouldn't love you!
The next step in our boot camp is the star-jump. Still fairly low-impact yet powerful in getting that inner-power flowing. Write down every person; be it actor/actress/model/politician/scientist/or person in your life such as your best friend, mother, father, etc. who you admire the most. Next write down the top attribute they possess of which you would also like to possess. Is it their ability to keep a conversation flowing? The way they dress? How they are able to command attention and respect from anyone they meet? their awesome organizational skills? The way they don't care of what others think of them? You get the drill. Write it down. Now its time for a bit of meditation. I want you to pull out your metaphorical yoga mat and close your eyes and imagine yourself possessing these same qualities. How would you talk, act, walk if you had this quality? This act of visualization helps us to see the person we want to be and causes our sub-conscious mind to tell you conscious mind to act appropriately. Want to be more approachable to people? Visualize yourself as a happy, smiling, approachable person. Want that CEO position? Visualize yourself sitting at the that desk. Want that dream house? Visualize yourself as already living in it. The mind thinks in pictures. If you feed it negative images you will only attracts negative things. But feed it images of things you want, and it will manifest in your everyday life. What you see is what you'll be. Remember that.
Now the hard-yards. We are gonna amp up this workout by doing some heavy-lifting. You've already listed all your awesome qualities, and you've already imagined yourself as a confident and happy go-getter, but its one thing to sit and imagine then it is to actually go out and practice these skills on the running track of everyday life. I want you to pick one thing from your list that you want to work on. If you've chosen say 'To not care what others think' then I want you to start off by wearing an item of clothing you love, but have always been too afraid to try on because of what others might think of it. That old lady at the office who always gives you the hairy eyeball when you walk past her? I want you to smile and say "how are you today?" or even a simple cheerful "hello!" would suffice. Even just a smile. Start off small, and work up. Challenge yourself every day by doing at least one thing that's out of your normal comfort zone. "They don't have to be big, life-changing events; small things that keep you in touch with the edge of your comfort zone will do." says Landy. The more you train, the stronger your self-confidence will become. And like any work-out, you always feel ten times better after you've done it.
Visit Michelle Landy's blog here http://michellelandy.com/blog/
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