Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo's book 'He's Just Not That Into You,' which was later adapted onto the big screen with the same title, forced us to re-visit the ultimate and all too familiar classic single-woman scenario: Does he really like me, or is he just not that interested?
It is a question of which squillions of women, myself included, have faced at least a dozen times in her life.
Cue classic scenario:
You meet a guy. In a bar; through friends; whatever -- hes cute, hes funny, he's got a smile to die for and and best part of all, from what you can tell, he appears to be really keen on you too! You exchange numbers/emails/Facebook usernames maybe even a sneaky peck on the lips, and then... you don't hear from him. Or even worse, and an all too familiar situation of mine; you actually manage to squizz a date out of him -- maybe a dinner, or a movie -- things are going great, you've already concluded that he's the one. At the end of the date you walk away with high hopes that this could lead to something more.
But then what?
The next day you awaken from your blissful slumber, after having gorgeous dreams of Mr. Right, and get all giddy as you anticapate having a cute good morning text on your phone or an email saying how much fun he had with you the other night and that he can't wait to see you again.
But you check your phone. Nothing.
"That's Okay! he probably doesn't want to seem too eager. I'll hear from him by the end of the day for sure."
Nothing? Shit, is my phone working? Better switch it off then on again just in case. Still nothing? Hmm, no reception? Dang, three bars. Easy, breathe. It's only been a day. What did so-and-so say about that 2 day rule again? Yeah, thats it. Guys usually wait 48 hours until they contact you, cos they don't wanna appear to eager or needy. God forbid. That's okay, I'll wait. We had an awesome date, and there was definately some chemistry there, no sweat. He'll contact me.
When he isn't contacting you..
For some reason, now I'm not sure if it's our biological makeup as women; that we're generally self-sacrificing and usually a little too empathetic for our own good, but for some goddamn reason we sabotage ourselves with this sort of self-torture intentionally without even realising it!! WHY on earth do we cheat on our own self-dignity, self-respect, and pride for some douche who obviously doesn't want to give us the time of day? WHY do we permit these douches to be the sole keeper of our happinesss? WHY do we torment ourselves for days on end wondering why Mr. Right never called? Was it me? Am I not good enough? Did I say something wrong? Maybe I shouldn't have worn my white capri's?.
This is stupid, Damsels!
Yet, I'm not going to excuse myself from such ridonculous behaviour, because as it turns out, I've been playing along with this game for the past two weeks. I've become a running-joke amongst my posse, they've said things like "Ohh Damsel, how many is it now?" "What, another one?" or my favourite line from my hopelessly gorgeous and well-meaning grandmother; "When will you ever find a nice boy..?"
Oh gee, that's a great question. It's not like I'm actively seeking out dead-end relationships and douche-bags. But cos it happens so often, I'm beginning to wonder if it is really me? Maybe I'm just destined to be like Aunt Lizzie and live a life of solitude, with the only male-figure in my life being my pomeranian named Barney.
He's Just Not That Into You. But WHYYYYY!!! I'm funny! I'm smart! I know what a shifter is and I can do a handstand whilst brushing my teeth! Who wouldn't wanna be with ME?!
So far I'm on day three of no contact from "Mr.Right" Half of me is still believing that he's totally interested in me and just doesn't wanna appear too eager, yet my logical 'mom-voice' in my head is screaming; Damslel! He's just not that into you!, but you know what? I've come to a point where I am okay with that. Because I know that I am awesome, and I know that any guy who doesn't see that - or chooses not to validate that through a silly text or Facebook inbox isn't worth my time of day anyway.
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